I am now 31 years old and my perspective in life has changed drastically. I used to obsess over body image and would yearn for validation. I won’t lie and say that I no longer care about validation and body image but it’s nowhere near how I felt in my adolescence and into my 20s. My opinion and happiness comes first now.
I’ve mostly worked out at a gym like 24 hour fitness (a gym in California). I remember seeing the Crossfit Games on TV while working out and getting a surge of motivation. These women were so strong and pushing their bodies to the max, but I still felt reluctant to do anything different from what I had already been doing for the past 8 years. Especially because I had competed at a fitness bikini competition and I was constantly reminded by coaches that my physique would change if I did Crossfit workouts. Well, now that I don’t care about what those coaches want my body to look like, I can disregard those opinions. I want to be strong and do something that I never imagined myself doing. Handstands, muscle-ups, and Olympic lifting? No way! I could never imagine that I could be capable of doing those things, but why not? Why not me? And why not try? Besides, I never imagined that I would step on stage either and I did that too.
Years later, it was mid-December 2014 and I had been going to the gym less, indulging in lots of holiday food, and had just come back from vacation from the east coast and I got the bright idea to try Crossfit. I weighed myself and was surprised that I had gained 10 pounds from my normal weight. I wasn’t feeling the greatest but I did it anyway. My first few weeks I felt intimidated, nervous and out of place. I’ll admit that I didn't love it from the beginning, but I continued to go because I knew a lot of my anxiety was coming from learning something new and being around a lot of new people. I’m more of an introvert so being around a lot of new people gives me anxiety. Sometimes I wish I could change that about me, but it’s still a reality.
Fast-forward 2 months later and I’m still going to the same Crossfit gym (I don’t like saying Box, I think it’s weird, lol) and I’m seriously considering cancelling my normal gym membership. I’m getting to know people there so I don’t get the same anxiety like I did before and I can see improvements already. The Olympic moves are so much more complex than normal lifting so the excitement of learning something new is back. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do.
I can do 1 strict pull-up so my pull-ups have to be modified for the WODs
What I look like now. I used to weigh around 116, now I'm more like 124lbs.
I'll consider this my Crossfit Before picture...hoping to see more muscle and increased strength
About 3 years ago, weighing between 112-116 when I used to try really hard to be lean.